Saturday, 12 October 2013

Guy Code

Today I was thinking about some of the things men have said to me, and about the gigantic gulf between what men say to women, and what they actually mean.  So I decided to write this little key.  I'm sure men will continue to lie to me much, much more, so call it a work in progress.

"I really like you" = "I want to see you naked"

"You're special to me" = "I really want to see you naked"

"I believe the Mayans were right" = "I'm deep.  Please sleep with me"

"Being with you makes me think about the future" = "You are not in it"

"I don't believe in relationships" = "I don't believe in having a relationship with you"

"I love how you're so opinionated" = "I am threatened by you"

"You're so intelligent" = "Butterface"

"I've never done this before" = "I've lost count of the number of times I've done this"

"I'm aware I haven't treated you well" = "I'm aware.  I'm not sorry"

"I'm sorry if you think I behaved like a cunt" = "I'm still not sorry"

"You're such a great person" = "You're dumped"

"It's not you, it's me" = "It's not you, it's me.  I'm a bellend"

No comments:

Post a Comment