Saturday, 6 December 2014

What I've Learned From Romcoms

Single women, Hollywood has some important advice for you...

  • Do you have a male best friend? He is definitely your soul mate.
  • No male best friend? Do you have a male colleague or slightly creepy neighbour you are similarly sexually disinterested in? Soulmate.
  • Passed a man on the street recently? Soulmate.
  • If he stalks you it's because he likes you. You should totes marry him.
  • If you stalk him, he will almost certainly find it endearing.
  • Love across the class divide, always, always works.
  • In fact, the more totally unsuited you are in every way, the more likely you will live happily ever after.
  • If you chase a man through an airport to declare a hitherto unmentioned passion, he will drop his plans to move abroad for his dream job to be with you, and you will not be arrested on terrorism charges. 
  • The object of your affections not being single is no barrier to love, as he will, in absolutely all circumstances leave her for you.
  • Him publicly dumping his girlfriend/fiancee for you is the grandest romantic statement a man can make. The more humiliated she is, the more he loves you - awww sweet!
  • Interrupting someone's wedding to declare undying love to the groom is totally not a completely dickish thing to do.
  • After your wedding crashing, you will obviously live happily ever after, and his family will welcome you with open arms rather than thinking you are totally insane and should probably be locked up.
  • Almost all of life's problems are both caused and solved by sleeping with Hugh Grant.

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